Members can sign in here.

About the Author

Ladislav Kudlacek
Education project manager (Czech Republic)

Political Scientist and Economist. I worked for human rights and humanitarian NGO in India and for international NGO People in Need based in the Czech Republic as a Programme Manager for Afghanistan. In present time I work as an Education Manager. I studied Economics in Tomas Bata University and Political Science in Masaryk University in the Czech Republic and in the University of Delhi in India and Humanitarian and International Law in Helsinki University in Finland.

Post

Love comes with wedding

Published 18th July 2010 - 11 comments - 1329 views -

Love comes with wedding

In India, marriages arranged by a family are still very common. Whether a man and a woman can start a marriage is decided by, for a European, hardly understandable criteria. Apart from the colour of skin, achieved education or tallness of the partner it may be for instance also a horoscope.

A knot of girls has appeared around Priya and they have started to question her impatiently. One could feel joy and excitement in the room. It is so because Priya has just got engaged. She has not seen her fiancé personally yet; she has seen him only by video and talked to him by phone. He works in Dubai and the horoscope confirmed that he is a great choice. It is hardly imaginable for a European, but for an Indian girl it is absolutely natural. It is a fulfillment of her life-long dream – to get married and to take care of a family and of future children. Priya is a young girl, who works in a small NGO in India. Her future husband has been chosen by her parents. “I was glad to accept their choice. They know who matches to me the best. And of course I could refuse him,” the girl says.

Several criteria have been included in the process of selection. Priya’s future husband is pale and relatively handsome. His education and also financial background are good. But most of all – the couple matches to each other according to the horoscope.

The girl is not so much astonished that she is about to marry a man who she has not yet seen personally. The contemporary technical devices like the phone, the e-mail and the Internet are able to transfer the most important things. “I asked him if he would allow me to continue in my job and about other important life opinions and attitudes. We have a similar attitude to the world,” Priya describes.

In India, love arrives with the wedding gaiety and it is going to develop during the following coexistence. Stars and the horoscope can reveal possible difficulties.


Category: Equality | Tags:


Comments

  • Iris Cecilia Gonzales on 18th July 2010:

    Ladislav,

    Thanks for this post. It’s hard enough to marry as it is. Arranged marriages must be so much difficult.


  • Luan Galani on 18th July 2010:

    Nice post. It is incredible, isn’t it? Hemant could explain us more.


  • Luan Galani on 18th July 2010:

    I forgot to mention that Mr. Ferry talked about this here:

    http://development.thinkaboutit.eu/think3/post/herald_of_the_new_revolution

    You may like it.


  • Jan Marcinek on 19th July 2010:

    Future of love is a internet. There are more people who became acquainted through the Internet… But this is extreme.


  • Carmen Paun on 19th July 2010:

    Some studies say that arranged marriages are on average less likely to end in divorce than those that happen because 2 people fall in love and choose to get married. And it seems the explanation is pretty easy: people in an arranged marriage don’t marry for love since they don’t know the other person. They marry for reasons related to status, social position and wealth. In time the 2 partners might start loving each other, but for them marriage is not all about love and the passion you find in some love relationship doesn’t burn completely after a while.
    For most of us is probably hard to imagine marrying without knowing your future husband/ wife, but maybe we need to step out of our (European) understanding-of-the-world box and see the world and marriage with other eyes too.


  • Hanna Clarys on 19th July 2010:

    That might be so, Carmen. But maybe arranged marriages end in divorce less likely because they happen in cultures where divorce is seen as a shame for the woman and her family. Just because they marry for reasons related to status and wealth, it is a big shame when people would divorce.


  • Carmen Paun on 19th July 2010:

    That is also another interesting point of view to see things from, thank you Hanna!


  • Hussam Hussein on 19th July 2010:

    Thanks for your post! That’s the kind of post I like: an insight of a different culture! smile Thanks!


  • Giedre Steikunaite on 23rd July 2010:

    “I asked him if he would allow me continue my job…” Are we talking here about equality? Why doesn’t the groom ask his future wife for a permission not to quit his job? Because here we have a gender problem: women are worth less than men and in many cases they don’t really count at all. And also, I think Hanna is super right talking about the impact of the society on these poor people whose lives are being decided by someone else.


Post your comment

  • Remember my personal information

    Notify me of follow-up comments?

    --- Let's see if you are human ---

    Apples grow on what? Add a questionmark to your answer. (6 character(s) required)